I have a message to all you women out there. Are you listening? It’s from a friend of mine and it’s very important that you hear it. Here it is: Stop being such massive whores. Seriously, females, we need to straighten up and fly right because this guy, who apparently can speak for all men, feels that women are nothing but conniving, vain, dimwitted creatures. I have to agree for the most part, although being conniving and dimwitted at the same time seems rather difficult. I work with this guy, this cynical font of conviviality, and I know he got his inspiration for this outburst from our cherished female customers. The massive whores. The ones he is talking about come in with tight, low-cut clothing, simpering smiles, lots of makeup, overdone hair, and generally fake-ified everything else. They bat their cat eyes and push their cleavage skyward and breathily coo at our boys, who, of course, freaking love it. I have a suspicion that these women are the real reason they come to work. Well, except for this guy. He finds this behavior repulsive. He made that point very clear through the use of very sketchy language. The behavior ranges from slutty clothing to flirtatious banter to the offering of blowjobs. No joke. That last one only happened once, though. So ladies; be decent. There’s no need to be skanky. Everyone behind that counter is sweating and smells like old milk; I wouldn’t waste my time.

Moving on. I have a question to all the men out there: Why are you older, inappropriate-for-me men so aggressive and perverted, and you younger, right-for-me men so skiddish and uninterested?? I have so many stories of shocking statements said to me by men my dad’s and grandfather’s age. Not once have I been confronted in this way by boys my own age. Boys my own age don’t even say tame, harmless niceties to me, let alone sweeping flirtatious pronouncements. What the fuck is up? Would you boys have me believe that I am so unattractive, so repulsive that I am to be ignored? Or even more unbelievable: are you scared yourselves? Is that it? Are young men so intimidated by girls, by me, that they can’t even look me in the eye and simply smile? I am through sitting around and waiting for someone to come to me. I’ve given up on that. I will need to come to them. I was rejected the first two times, but it will happen. I now finally believe that. I am finally able to believe that I am good enough to be loved and someday, I will be. In the mean time, grow some balls, boys, and please put yours away, you older “gentlemen”. You gross me out.

Peace.