Went to heavy metal concert on Monday, the 21st.  It rocked.

Decided to drop out of school on Thursday.

Had a mini cry-fest at Starbucks on Friday about leaving school and about a boy.

Went to a party at a friends’ house on Saturday and had my first beer.  Cried again.  Had profound moments with each one of my drunk friends from Starbucks.

Saw a friend’s heavy metal band practice on Sunday.  They rocked.

Found out on Tuesday that my Starbucks store manager is leaving in less than a month.  She needs more time with her family.  I will really miss her, as a person and as a manager. 

Found out on Wednesday that my friend who is not in school has decided to go back.  Am so proud of him.

Have been corresponding with 3 NY friends and 1 UGA friend and 3 Starbucks friends online.  No major news from them, except for 1 of the Starbucks friends, who just went back to school this semester after a long hiatus and will be moving in with her boyfriend and leaving Starbucks in less than a year.  I will miss her.

Have been invited to participate in a San Francisco walking marathon by my mom’s best friend.  Not sure if I’ll go yet.

I still talk to other friends sometimes, but they aren’t as important to me as my top 5 right now: Brooke, Trish, Ben, Kristine, and Jordan.  Friends I want to get closer to are Kaity, Mandy, Nick, Pino, Jessika, Steve, Amy, and Biruk.  

What I really need is to find a place where I can make new friends.  

Maybe I’ll join a writer’s group.  

Maybe I’ll start a dance class.  

Maybe I’ll get an internship at a film production company.  

I could try to get a job at my favorite store, Anthropologie.  

I could take an art class.  

Or a film class.  

These are all good ways to meet people, to build another community.  I need people.  People make me happy.

Need to do another load of laundry.

Need to buy my own dishes so I don’t use the family’s.

Need to practice parallel parking so I can be confident to take my test again so I can get my license so I can be independent so I can be happy.

Need to hang up mirror still.  Need to tack up new mag clips I found.  Need to put finishing touches on bedroom.

Need to be more involved in my treatment.  Make mood chart.  Do homework from therapy.  Always take medicine.  Exercise everyday.  Eat healthily.  Always get enough sleep.  

Build confidence: Get dressed up and go out.  Read more.  Write more.  Draw more.  Hang out with friends more.  Make more phone calls.  Be more outgoing.  Be more organized.  Learn.  Create.  Dream.  Explore. 

Figure it out.  

Life, I mean.