Simple.

Simple.

Just a phase.

Take these feelings;

And throw away.

Think you’re finished?

You’ll pretend?

Your feelings vanished?

Think again.

I know your secret.

Your little lie.

The twisting, aching

Pain inside.

I know it haunts you.

Day in, day out.

I know it wants you

To cower and pout.

Stay buried under

Mountains of grief.

Begin to plunder

Your mind of relief.

When good moods go sour,

And bad thoughts creep in;

I am inside you.

I am within. 

I will stay wriggling

Like a parasite.

Taking you over.

Feasting on  life.

You will fight me.

Some battles won.

But the war is in question.

Will it ever be done?

Who am I really?

Who can you blame?

Who can you point to

And shout out a name?

There’s no single source.

No single villain.

So what you must do

If you are willing;

Is stand up each day.

Breathe in and breathe out.

And fight through this world.

You’ll figure it out. 

If you are broken,

Damaged and bruised. 

No one can fix you

Except you, if you choose.

I am you.

I will stay.

Conquer your feelings.

And throw away.

Simple.

Simple.     

Last night on Earth

In our cozy cave

Last kiss we’ll share

Nothing left to save

We’ve been through the war 

Casualties are the proof

Suitcase on the floor

Makes me face the truth

I watch you pack your clothing

That slid across your skin

And kept the smell of you I loved

And at one time kept you hidden

But now I watch you standing there

I know what lies beneath

I picture every freckle

Every signature relief

It’s covered now forever

Forever barred to me

When once it was my heaven

And you and I were free

You say something and look my way

That old, familiar gaze

Those eyes that once were so bright

Are fading into gray

The spark that once began us

Still lingers in this room

But now we know our journey

Is one that ends in doom

And when all that I’ve loved

Has packed and left this place

I bow my head in sadness

In somber, sore disgrace

I flop myself 

Onto our bed

The one that years

Passed overhead

I stare up at the ceiling

Remembering the nights

When we would talk for hours

And turn off all the lights

We’d talk til dawn

The sun would break

We’d smile and kiss

Ourselves awake

I roll and look

Out the window

At the empty

Streets below

Our streets we claimed

So long ago

And from my view

I plainly see

Into our bathroom

Vanity

A single razor

Perched near mine

Is all you’ve missed

And left behind

I stand and tears

Well in my eyes

I walk toward it

With heavy sighs

I pick it up

And tears do fall

I cower against

The shower wall

And from my crouch

I spot some gray

Some gray cotton

That’s somewhat frayed

It’s in the trash

Balled in a pile

A gray t-shirt

Been there awhile

I hold it up

I breathe it in

The smell of you

Remains within

I let my sobs

Ring on the tile

As I see

Your loving smile

That loving smile

I thought would last

Is gone forever

In the past 

Someday I’ll heal

I’ll have no hurt

Your smell will vanish

From this shirt

I’ll look out of my room’s window

And I’ll think back upon this day

I’ll once again recall the sight

Of you striding on your way

I’ll smile upon you 

Then I’ll know

It’s good to see you

See you go.          

take me for granted

use me all up

suck me bone dry

empty this cup

of course I will stay

of course I’ll be there

you have no doubts

that I’ll always care

break me in pieces

tear me to bits

I’m here for the taking

and I’ll take your shit

but push me too hard

ignore me too long

and I’ll finally see

how you felt all along

and in the end

when I am no more

when I’ve either left

or’ve been slain on the floor

you’ll be far away

you’ll quite soon forget

so take me for granted

you’ll see what you get

bitch 

On a dark, dark street

On a dark, dark night

Stood a dark, dark house

With a dim spark of light

From a second story window

Like candlelight, was red

And through the bottom right-most pane

It faintly creeping, ghostly bled

Up the dark, dark path

Up the dark, dark steps

Through the dark, dark door

With my thin, shallow breaths

I trembled in the foyer

In the crumbling decay

Abandoned, all was hopeless

I should turn and run away

But the dark, dark walls

With their paint-smeared stares

Moaned their dark, deep voices

And led me up the stairs

Up the dark, dark stairs

To a dark corridor

A long dark tunnel

That ended at a door

The dark door stood

Looked at me without fear

Whispered dark, dark words

Whispered for me to come near

So I crept through the dark

Down the dark, dark hall

Every inch was suspense

Every nearing footfall

Then at last I had come

To this dark, dark door

With its ponderous presence

Looming ceiling to the floor

I took no breath

I made no sound

I reached my hand out

And let it wrap around

The knob, it twisted right

With a dark, low scrape

And I pushed and opened wide

Letting light at once escape

For there in the corner

Before the bottom right-most pane

Flickered one single fire

One little flinching flame

It shone in my eyes

In this dark, dark room

And I slowly moved toward it

Through the stale, empty gloom

I stroked the warm air

That haloed round its spark

Then grabbed the dripping candlestick

And held it in the dark

I hold it closely to me

I keep the drafts away

I protect its burning

And in that room I stay

In this dark, dark room

In this dark, dark house

I never let it die

I never put it out

Its lonely little shimmer

Its tiny warming ray

Is my light in the darkness

In this dark, dark place. 

School is dead

Frozen, pale, brittle

It was murdered

By neglect

School is dead

Its corpse stricken

Under miles of

Fear and dreck

I hate its face

Its fearful grimace

Eyes that filled me

Full of shame

I hate its voice

Its thud of doom

A booming metronome

Of blame

Its shriveled hands

Did point at me

When it was quite alive and well

But I did look away

I ran away

And I am running still

Even though it lies dead

In its bolted coffin now

I am drowned in fear

That it will spring awake somehow

That it will chase me

Through my days

Accusing me of being bad

Accusing me of being dumb

Or of being too damn sad

“There is something wrong with you”

School will tell me this out loud

“You will never ever be worthy”

It whispers smug and proud

But it is dead and buried

Out of sight it will stay

The deed is done, I killed it clean

It should be far away

The dirt above its coffin

Hides hideousness within

The grass upon the dirt

Hides the ugly skeleton

I look at the grass and wonder

What it would be like to dig

To tear through soil and ground

To unearth my problem so big

And so I start to rip apart

The filthy brown debris

My hands a mess

My face distressed

My body sore and fatigued

It drains my soul

My very core

Who I am I don’t know anymore

What I want

What I’m doing

All gets lost in the tumbling ruin

And after six feet

Ends the craze

After a lifetime

In the maze

I rise, bloody

I rise, smoking

I fizz, I spark

I’m nearly broken

After this ordeal

I smash

Open the coffin

Flaring crash

And lying there

Lit up with light

Is school

A vibrant, youthful sprite

No feeble, trembling, spindly beast

But fearless radiance

An intellectual feast

I look upward

And see the sky

But blocking my view

Is dirt piled high

Scads of soil

Mountains of mire

And I’m at the bottom

Of this terrible ire 

This fearful, feculent tower I see

Has been slashed through by little old me

I fought through the muck

I tore through the pain

And now I see allI had to gain

I gained something

In what I lost

I lost my fear

No matter the cost

I lost my fear

I dug a hole

I made a gash

Inside my soul

The fear was dirt

Dirt decrepit

That hid school

And other bodies like it

And now with fear

Destroyed at last

I can go to school

And live above the grass  

I don’t remember meeting you

I don’t recall your face

If you smiled magnanimous or if you shrugged and slouched in place

Didn’t know a thing about you

Don’t believe I cared

And looking back, I cannot pinpoint what time for me you appeared

But finally it happened

Over many weeks stretched out

You grew to be someone in my life who I couldn’t do without

We worked together all the time

We slowly showed ourselves

And little things when added up made it obvious to tell

I won’t describe your charms and light

I’d go forever on

But just know that I love you as one person loves another one

I told you straight into your face

That I cared for you

You apologized and sighed and said for you it wasn’t true

Work was in the way, as was

The ex-girlfriend you loved

You couldn’t move on from the past you knew, although I tried to nudge

I accepted this, and yes,

For the moment, I felt fine

I thought I could get over you in speedy lightning record time

I expected far too much 

From my tattered heart

And at the end of one long week, I shattered, breaking, fell apart

I wept upon your shoulder

And asked things that churned inside

And though you were so gentle, sweet, your answers made me want to die

For you said “no,” you said it clear

And in the end, I heard it ring

It stopped my winsome swooning, for its hollow, empty sound did sting

I realized then as I know now

That you played victim in this tale

I projected my hopes on you, now we know to no avail

I took my dreams of being loved

Of having a relationship

And thrust them on the nearest boy who seemed to be a decent fit

Although you’re not right for me

And probably will never be

And this was a mistake that makes me laugh with bitter agony

I’m still glad it happened

I still think you’re great

I’ll be your friend forever, but I’ll never try to be your date

Someday we’ll find love

Both of us, indeed

We’ll be so happy someday, when we find the ones we sorely need.